Tsuyo Akimichi(WIP)

Section 1: Basic Information

Last Name, First Name: Akimichi Tsuyo
Gender: Male
Age: 17
Birthday: February 9th
Height: 5,8"
Weight: 240

Specializations: taijutsu, Fuuinjutsu, kenjutsu, ninjutsu
Elemental Affinity: Earth, fire, and lightning

Rank: Genin
Village: Chikagakure
Section 2: Personality

Personality: I try to be humorous, but mostly friendly. People criticize my weight, but i don't let them get away easy. I like having friends but not too many. i release my anger in battle, but i can be pretty swell at holding it in. i mostly concentrate on my training and strength other than talking to other people.
Likes: I like the feeling of winning battles. Winning, and making friends is a lot to me. i like to eat food and get stronger. Just like most of my pleasures, i like to keep my weight at a stable level.
Dislikes/Fears: i hate people who try to show off, and also people who try to compare themselves to me. Most of the time people do not bother to mess with me, but there are certain times when they do.
Motivation: My motivation is doing what my parents didn't want me doing. To show them i was better than they thought i was. To seek knowledge in training and combat. I want to make my parents proud to see how accomplished i have become. I know their watching, and i'm not going to make a fool out of myself. They will see what skills i have been have been holding back for all these years.

Section 3: Clan Information

Bloodline:
Bloodline Ability:
History of Clan:
Location of Clan:


Section 4: Background

Character History: I have always had a grudge on successful people, because my parents always told me, "you can't be a ninja, you don't have the potential or strength to do so." I have always loved my parents but not a strongly as others. One day my parents were killed by muggers and thieves while i was watching. Ever since that day i have wanted my revenge on those men. But there was a man who told me, didn't give me his name but said, "revenge is only something rebels have, you are not a rebel. you seek revenge on those who came before you and chose the wrong path. Tsuyo, do not choose the wrong path and beat yourself up for what happened that was not your fault." After the shaded man told me those words, i started training to be a ninja. Being a ninja was my only dream, and i always thought it was my destiny. I was so angry for the longest time, i had to be contained away from other people. I was following a dark path, and was soon becoming a evil man. I tried everything to get my hopes, and spirits up. Nothing was working and was thinking nothing but evil. But then that man showed up again. He was still shaded like before, and was slowly approaching me. I tried to stab him with a knife, but he easily evaded, and disarmed me. He picked me up and slammed me into the ground and said,"Listen Tsuyo, get it together! you are not an evil man. I was hoping not to do this to you but i have no choice. i will not let you up until you tell me what is corrupting your ind and pushing you slowly into evil. i can help you Tsuyo, i can help your problem." And he did he helped me train, and give me words of encouragement. I trained for years on my own after he left. I became better every day, and soon i became a ninja, a genin. i was so proud of myself from the years of training to becoming a genin. i met new friends and friendly ninja's to help me train more. i was finally becoming a better person in general. I now try to forget my past and focus on the present and what i need to learn and do. Thanks to that shaded man i'm a better person and will now continue my journey to the higher ranks other than genin.

RP Sample: So i walk into a restaurant, and see a man sitting at the table eating his food. Me being myself i like to meet new people. So, i sit down, and i ask him, "are you a ninja? you look like you know how to fight." He said, "No i'm not, i like to live like a normal citizen, and have kids, live a good life, you know, the usual." He asked me if i wanted to eat lunch with him the next day. I said, "sure id love to." Meeting new people gives so much joy in my life. So the next day we show up, i order ramen, and he orders soup of some kind. He recommends me to go to a certain restaurant, i said sure. Me and this man became friends, and i eat lunch with him every Tuesday.

Your Motivation section needs to be a little more.. well, motivating. Your reason doesn't seem very good, honestly. Seeing elders fight isn't really a motivation. Motivation should be what your reason for living, your reason for doing everything you do. Fix it up then Bump.

Bump.

Well it's pretty messy as far as grammar goes, but it's definitely readable and easy to understand. Plus, it's a genin app so I won't be too picky. You won't be able to do battle topics until Akamichi clan is finished, and when it is you will come back and edit your app to add in the clan information. But for casual topics:

Along with Bryn I shall post my verdict once I see the Clan info added... alas Id also like to advise you on proper punctuation hun.. it makes a big difference when rping with other if you correct punctuation etc. Here is an idea that I think will help.. trying typing in programs like microsoft word first, this way atleast you can fix spelling errors and punctuation :)