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| Somno Justu template (Complete) | |
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Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Somno Justu template (Complete) Thu Apr 18, 2013 1:01 am | |
| (D Rank)
Name: Fulmin Erumpit Rank of Jutsu: D Element Affinity: Raiton Type: Ninjustu Distance: Hand-held Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. Creates a 12" diameter sphere of lightning in the users hand. Can be thrust into a target. When thrust into the target, the sphere bursts and thrusts the target back 15 feet. The target recieves electrical burns of the first dergree and severe numbness on the contacted area. This jutsu is ment to be used in conjunction with Imbribus Pulvia. When used in this conjunction with Imbribus Pulvia, the electricity is infused into the water. Then if someone is in the water, excluding the user, the target recieves electrical burns od the first degree. (The electrcal burns for these combanation attacks are inflicted over wherever ther is water on the target.) Lasts for one turn, has a 2 turn cool down.
Name: Imbribus Pulvia Rank of Jutsu: D Element Affinity: Suiton Type: Ninjustu Distance: 10 meter width and 10 meter length Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. Covers all object with in a 10 meter width and 10 meter length with a thick blanket of water that is shot from the user's mouth. This water sticks to anything that it touches. When it sticks to anything the surface does not have to water absorbant; this means that the water will stick on anything it comes in contact with. They water only remains sticky for 2 turns after use. Lasts 2 turns and has a 3 turn cool down.
Name: Gladium Spirtus Rank of Jutsu: D Element Affinity: Fuuton Type: Ninjustu Ninjustu Distance: Hand-held Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. The user is able to create a 4 foot long sword using wind. The more focus put into the swords creation, the sharper it is. The maximum durability of the sword is that of steel. The sword is created instantly and disapears when released. Lasts 3 turns and has a 6 turn cool down.
(C Rank)
Name: Ventus Vehemens Rank of Jutsu: C Element Affinity: Fuuton Type: Ninjustu Distance: 10 meters Description: Requires the use of hand seals. Uses a slice of air to cut down all enemies within 10 yards. This slice of wind is as sharp as steel and travels at 35mph.The slice of air is in a 4 meter long cresent shape that travels in the direction the user chooses. Can cut up to 1/2 inch deep on impact and has a knockback of only one meter. Has 3 turn cool down.
Name: Secret Green Technique: Acus Verberare Rank of Jutsu: C Element Affinity: None Type: Puppetry Distance: 20 meters Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. Releases a barrage of all of a puppet's needles at once in a single direction. the needles travel in a circle of 5 feet width and 10 meter length and travles at 40mph. These needles can pierce 1/2 of an inch into skin and break through armor of nickel or of iron. Uses all puppet's needles; thusly can only be used once.
Name: Secret Green Technique: Sensus Pupa Rank of Jutsu: C Element Affinity: None Type: Ninjustu/ Puppetry/ Ninjutsu Distance: self Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. The user gains the ability to see, hear, and feel what the puppet sees, hears, and feels for a duration of up to 3 turns. This helps the puppet master do recon or fight with the puppet more like he or she was the puppet. The user, in essence, has put his or her mind inside of the puppet, making him or her is able to control the puppet like his or her own body. One drawback is that you can only see, hear, and feel, what the puppet does; leaving the user utterly helpless while it is in effect. If the users body is injured then the jutsu is cancelled. If the puppet is destroyed before the user can release the jutsu, the user is then is returned to their own body. This technique has a cool down f 4 turns. (B Rank)
Name: Secret Green Technique: Ventus Acus Rank of Jutsu: B Element Affinity: Fuuton Type: Ninjustu/Puppetry Distance: NA Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. User amplifies the piercing power of a puppet's needles by infusing them with wind chakra. The peircing power is moved up up to that of titanium and the durability of the needles is also moved up to titanium. Can be used as long as the user's puppet still has needles. This release a burst of 25 of the infused needles at a speed of 45mph. Has an 8 turn cool down.
Name: Kage Bunshin no Jutsu Rank of Jutsu: B Element Affinity: N/A Type: Ninjustu Distance: N Cloning Description: Requires a charge equal to hand seals followed by a single tiger seal to unleash the technique. Unlike the normal Bunshin technique which creates a copy of the ninja that lacks any substance, the Kage Bunshin distributes the ninja's chakra evenly among the clones and creates a real copy with solid form and substance. The clone itself can also utilize any jutsu the original ninja knows. When the clone finally disperses, any new knowledge it has gained is passed back to the original ninja and any additional clones. The user can only create a maximum of 6 shadow clones, and must distribute their chakra between them. That means if they have 130 chakra, and summon 4 clones, that means the technique will subtract 30 and have 100 chakra left to distribute between the clones. This means that each clone will have 20 chakra, including the user. If a clone is destroyed the chakra returns to the user. 6 round cool down after use.
Name: Signationem Quislibet Rank of Jutsu: B Element Affinity:None Type: Fūinjutsu Distance: Hand-held Description: Requires a pre-made scroll that is created for this purpose. User seals up to 15 of oncoming projectiles. The maximum amount of objects that can be sealed in the scroll is 15. The items that are sealed can also be released to be used by the holder of the scroll. Can also be used as a basic sealing technique for other items. Uses limited to number of scrolls carried.
Last edited by Interminatum Somno on Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:04 am; edited 25 times in total | |
| | | Shizen Tekuta Shinkage
Character Age : 29 Posts : 242 Ryo : 5195
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:51 pm | |
| Again, I noticed you are making things you aren't quite ready for yet. Before you can make or register anything on the site you must have a completed and approved character application. | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:10 pm | |
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| | | Neo Sabakukage
Character Age : 28 Posts : 308 Ryo : 20000
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Fri Apr 19, 2013 5:24 pm | |
| All Jutsu that this pertains to: - Interminatum Somno wrote:
- Does not require hand seals.
- Code:
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Then state it requires a charge time equal to handseals, you must have either or. ----------------------------- Fulmin Erumpit: - Code:
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Sorry, but average sized ball won't cut it here, going to have to ask you to give me some dimensions. - Code:
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What happens when it is thrust into a target? ----------------------------- Imbribus Pulvia: - Code:
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Is covering objects with water all it does? No special properties about the water? If that's the case there is no need to have a duration. ----------------------------- Gladium Spirtus: - Code:
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Is the sword's creation instantaneous or does it take time? - Code:
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What is the maximum sharpness that the sword can reach? - Code:
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If the user was to release the sword, would it disappear? ------------------------------ Ventus Vehemens: - Code:
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Remove the "has one a one turn charge time..." as you do not determine how long it takes for a jutsu to charge. - Code:
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How big is this "slice" of air? - Code:
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How fast does it travel? - Code:
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How much damage can be outputted? ------------------------------- Secret Green Technique: Acus Verberare: - Code:
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How fast are the needles shot? --------------------------------- Fulgur Hastea: - Code:
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Remove the "has a one turn to charge..." as you do not determine how long it takes for a jutsu to charge. - Code:
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How big is this bolt of lightning? - Code:
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How fast does the bolt travel? - Code:
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What kind of damage does the "shock" cause? ----------------------------------- Secret Green Technique: Ventus Acus: - Code:
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By how much is the piercing power being amplified? --------------------------------- Aqua Carcerem: - Code:
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Remove the "takes one turn to charge" as you do not determine how long it takes for a jutsu to charge. - Code:
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How strong is this water prison? - Code:
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Can it be broken from the inside or outside by an opposing jutsu? --------------------------------- Signationem Quislibet: - Code:
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How man projectiles can be sealed at a time? - Code:
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How many items can the scroll hold at once? | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:36 pm | |
| Thanks for the edits. I was hoping I would gett these soon. Also the Jutsu Imbribus Pulvia is ment to be used in conjunction with Fulmin Erumpit to create an electrified ground covering. | |
| | | Neo Sabakukage
Character Age : 28 Posts : 308 Ryo : 20000
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:56 pm | |
| - Code:
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Yeah I see makes sense, well go ahead and edit everything above in, and we'll move on, alright. | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:19 am | |
| Alright, I added all of the edits in. Its ready to be checked. | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Wed Apr 24, 2013 4:48 pm | |
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| | | Neo Sabakukage
Character Age : 28 Posts : 308 Ryo : 20000
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Wed Apr 24, 2013 5:18 pm | |
| Fulmin Erumpit Imbribus Pulvia Gladium Spirtus Secret Green Technique: Acus Verberare Fulgur Hastea Secret Green Technique: Ventus Acus Aqua Carcerem - Code:
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All of the jutsu I have listed above have something stating how long they must charge to use the jutsu, which is incorrect, edit the jutsu so that instead of saying "Has a charge time of one turn" it should say "Has a charge time equal to handseals". - Code:
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Also the jutsu that use mps, change to mph Gladium Spirtus: - Code:
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Change the maximum sharpness/ durability to steel and it should be good. Signationem Quislibet: - Code:
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Make it 15 instead of 25 - Interminatum Somno wrote:
- Also the Jutsu Imbribus Pulvia is ment to be used in conjunction with Fulmin Erumpit to create an electrified ground covering.
- Code:
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In one of the jutsu state that it is meant to be used in conjunction with the other jutsu. - Code:
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Add the effects of the combination as well. | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Wed Apr 24, 2013 6:34 pm | |
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| | | Neo Sabakukage
Character Age : 28 Posts : 308 Ryo : 20000
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Sat Apr 27, 2013 9:10 am | |
| Fulmin Erumpit: - Code:
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Shrink the size and that should be all. Imbribus Pulvia: - Code:
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How long does the water "stick" to something? - Code:
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Decrease the range just a bit. Ventus Vehemens: - Code:
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How large is this slice of air? Secret Green Technique: Acus Verberare: - Code:
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Decrease the speed just a bit. Secret Green Technique: Sensus Pupa: - Code:
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Are you in control of the puppet's body while in this state? | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Sat Apr 27, 2013 11:50 am | |
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| | | Shizen Tekuta Shinkage
Character Age : 29 Posts : 242 Ryo : 5195
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Sat Apr 27, 2013 2:17 pm | |
| I'm gonna jump in here for a second and throw in a second opinion on all the jutsu.. - Fulmin Erumpit:
Name: Fulmin Erumpit Rank of Jutsu: D Element Affinity: Raiton Type: Ninjustu Distance: Hand-held Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. Creates a 12" diameter sphere of lightning in the users hand. Can be thrust into a target. When thrust into the target, the sphere burst and thrusts the target back 15 to 25 feet, dependent on the targets size. This jutsu is meant to be used in conjunction with Imbribus Pulvia. When used in this conjunction with Imbribus Pulvia, the electrical damage of a D rank jutsu is infused into the water. Then if someone is in the water, excluding the user, the target receives electrical burns of a D rank jutsu. It can also function in the same way when used with Aqua Carcerem, except for the electrical burns are that of a C rank jutsu. (The electrical burns for these combination attacks are inflicted over wherever there is water on the target.) Lasts for one turn, has a 2 turn cool down.
The damage this jutsu causes is far too vague. Instead of simply putting "D-rank electrical burns" or "C-rank electrical burns" you have to give some sort of degree to it like first, second, or third degree. Next is the knock back effect which is also very vague. There has to be a definitive distance not 15 to 25 because that could be used to god mod how far someone could go. Also if the size of the opponent dictates the distance they fly than you would have to put in a table putting what size flies what distance but personally I feel like it would be easier to just put one distance for everything. - Imbribus Pulvia:
Name: Imbribus Pulvia Rank of Jutsu: D Element Affinity: Suiton Type: Ninjustu Distance: 40 meter diameter Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. Covers all objects within a 40 meter diameter with a thick blanket of water that is shot from the user's mouth. This water sticks to anything that it touches.They water only remains sticky for 2 turns after use. Lasts 2 turns and has a 3 turn cool down
Alrighty, I don't quite understand the wording here. You say a forty meter diameter which would make this jutsu a sphere with you in the center of it which I don't believe is correct. So you would have to change it to so many meters out and so many meters wide if its a blanket. Which brings me to the fact that I believe 40 meters is far too excessive for a D-rank and should be dropped to more reasonable level like 10 meters which is equivalent to 34 feet. Also the "Sticky" aspect of the water confuses me, does that mean they get wet and are only wet for 2 rounds? Or does it literally STICK to them and cause them to slow down because if the latter is true than you would have to put in what the water sticking to them actually does. - Gladium Spirtus:
Name: Gladium Spirtus Rank of Jutsu: D Element Affinity: Fuuton Type: Ninjustu Ninjustu Distance: Hand-held Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. The user is able to create a 4 foot long sword using wind. The more focus put into the swords creation, the sharper it is. The maximum sharpness of the sword is that of steel, but this sharpness requires an extra charge turn. the sword is created instantly and disapears when released. Lasts 3 turns and has a 6 turn cool down
There isn't really much wrong with this one other than the fact that instead of "Sharpness" of steel it should be changed to "Durability of steel" because that would make it so that anything that could break through steel would be capable of breaking the jutsu. Also, the whole "more focus" thing seems a bit superfluous and you should probably just make it so that no matter how long you focus the sword is steel. - Ventus Vehemens:
Name: Ventus Vehemens Rank of Jutsu: C Element Affinity: Fuuton Type: Ninjustu Distance: 15 meters Description: Requires the use of hand seals unless Gladium Spirtus is already in effect. Uses a slice of air to cut down all enemies within 15 yards. This slice of wind is as sharp as steel and travels at 35mph. The slice of air is in a 10 meter long cresent shape that travels in the direction the user chooses. Can cut up to 1/2 inch deep on impact. Has 3 turn cool down.
First and foremost this jutsu will require handseals or charging regardless as to whether another jutsu is activated or not, we don't allow insta-casting of jutsu. Next, 10 meters = 34 feet which is really excessive for a C-rank so that needs to be dropped down. Also, does this cause any blunt force damage or does it simply hit them, cut them, and disappear? - Secret Green Technique: Acus Verberare:
Name: Secret Green Technique: Acus Verberare Rank of Jutsu: C Element Affinity: None Type: Puppetry Distance: 20 meters Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. Releases a barrage of all of a puppet's needles at once in a single direction. The needles travel in a circle of 5 feet in diameter and travels at 40 mph. Uses all puppet's needles; thus can only be used once.
I'm a little confused as to your wording here. You say the needles go in a single direction but then the next sentence you say they shoot in a circle? Then again you also put a diameter measurement again so is it a sphere? You have to be more specific. Also, you need to put how much damage is caused by getting hit by the needles, keep in mind a C-rank jutsu still isn't high enough to begin having killing potential. You also have to put in if these needles can pierce any form of armor or if it didn't hit bare flesh would it just bounce off. - Secret Green Technique: Sensus Pupa:
Name: Secret Green Technique: Sensus Pupa Rank of Jutsu: C Element Affinity: None Type: Ninjustu/ Puppetry/ Ninjutsu Distance: self Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. The user gains the ability to see, hear, and feel what the puppet sees, hears, and feels for a duration of up to 3 turns. This helps the puppet master do recon or fight with the puppet more like he or she was the puppet. The user, in esense, has put its mind inside of the puppet, making him able to control the puppet like his or her own body. This technique has a cool down f 2 turns. One drawback is that you can only see, hear, and feel, what the puppet does; leaving the user uterly helpless while it is in affect.
First and foremost the amount of typos in this jutsu are pretty out of control, please fix them. Next it is a rule of thumb here that the cooldowns have to exceed the duration of the jutsu, so the cooldown has to be increased. Also make sure you state what happens if your puppet gets destroyed while you are inhabiting its body. Then as a safety measure you should probably make it so that if your body gets hit than the jutsu cancels out, otherwise you could be mutilated horribly and not even know it until you return to your body. - Secret Green Technique: Ventus Acus:
Name: Secret Green Technique: Ventus Acus Rank of Jutsu: B Element Affinity: Fuuton Type: Ninjustu/Puppetry Distance: NA Description: Has a charge time equal to handseals. User amplifies the piercing power of a puppe'ts needles by infusing them with wind chakra. The peircing power is moved up one rank and the durability of the needles is also moved up one rank. Can be used as long as the user's puppet still has needles. Has an 8 turn cool down.
Alrighty, this needs to have a definitive speed of the shots, a comparison as to how durable the needles become (such as durability of steel), a definitive piercing power (Such as capable of piercing steel). Also, is this a buff or a technique? I can't tell if this is just a single blast of needles and the jutsu is over or if it just powers up the needles the puppet can use. If it is a buff then there has to be a duration of the buff. If this is just a single burst of needles then there has to be a speed specified and a size of the needle barrage. | |
| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Re: Somno Justu template (Complete) Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:05 am | |
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| | | Interminatum Somno Genin
Character Age : 16 Posts : 18 Ryo : 2800
| Subject: Bump Thu May 02, 2013 12:03 pm | |
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